|Curb Your Enthusiasm|
|Season 5, Episode 8|
|Air date||November 20, 2005|
|Written by||Larry David|
|Directed by||Larry Charles|
The Korean Bookie
Time is running out for Richard Lewis to get his much-needed kidney transplant. Larry David and Jeff Greene (Jeff Garlin), his two best friends, are hoping that his sick cousin will die in time to give him a kidney, especially so the two of them don't need to give up any kidneys. Richard offers to give Larry his Mickey Mantle 500-home-run ball. Larry runs into George Lopez at the hospital who tells him that the head of the kidney consortium, Ben Heineman (Stuart Pankin) is willing to bend the rules for his friends.
Larry runs into Lisa (Mo Collins) the nurse of Richard Lewis at the hospital who tells him she used to date Jeff Greene and that he has a tiny penis. When Larry tells Jeff, Jeff confides in him that in fact, the nurse had a huge vagina and Larry concludes "these big vagina women are getting away with murder". Jeff invites Larry and Cheryl to a ski lodge with him and Susie (Susie Essman) for the weekend.
In addition, Larry's PI, Omar Jones says he has decided to work on Larry's case to see if he is adopted, and leaves a pair of edible underwear in Larry's house, which Larry keeps in his jacket. Omar reports that Heineman is a huge Yankees fan and an Orthodox Jew.
Larry finds Ben Heineman's car and purposefully hits it with his own car, leaving a note with his contact information in hopes that he will get to meet this man. When he meets him for lunch, he offers to pay for any damages, but more importantly, he accentuates the fact that he is Jewish to the point of pretending to be Orthodox as well, which includes muttering "Yiddish" that he doesn't really know. After Ben mentions that he loves skiing, Larry says that he is going away to a ski lodge for a weekend and invites Ben along.
Richard's baseball disappears and Larry suspects the nurse stole it by hiding it in her unusually large vagina.
At the ski lodge, Ben has come along with his daughter Rachel (Iris Bahr). Because Larry has pretended to be an Orthodox Jew, he has to pretend that Susie is his wife, since his wife Cheryl David is a Gentile. However, Susie hates Larry, and Cheryl David (Cheryl Hines) isn't particularly friendly with Jeff, who she also has to pretend to be married to. The first night at the ski lodge includes Larry making up a phony story about how he met Susie when playing in a band called Larry David and the Hipsters, Susie saying she fell for him because she felt sorry for him, and both Larry and Jeff sleeping on the floor.
Rachel is extremely religiously Jewish, more so than her father. She has no sense of humor and seems to suspect something is up with Larry from the beginning. After discovering that Ben will put Richard's name at the top of the kidney transplant list, Larry ends up stuck on the ski lift with Rachel after dark. According to Jewish law, she can't be alone with a man after dark, so she jumps off the ski lift after Larry offers her some edible panties for a snack.
At the end of the episode, Richard Lewis discovers that Lisa has stolen Larry's phone and put it inside her vagina.